when you know you know

the moments that rewrote my life with a single yes

until my mid 20s, the old saying when you know you know scared me. i never felt that way about anything up to that point. i was working a job i had outgrown, stuck in an endless revolving door of dates, unsure about all of it.

the first time i understood that phrase was in my late 20s, when i finally decided to shake things up.

i did it in the safest way possible (i am a virgo after all) by finding a way to relocate from new jersey to miami through my corporate job. i applied for a new role. i had only been to south florida once before, briefly. when i flew to miami to interview, i remember walking around the city and having this distinct thought, “I belong here.”

it was a refreshing feeling, the knowing.

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i spent the following weeks praying, meditating, and practicing detachment. i asked for the highest possible outcome. if miami wasn’t meant for me, i didn’t want it. but something about the city just felt right. my soul felt at home.

i got the job—and i didn’t pay a cent for the move. from packing my boxes to a paid weekend to find housing, it was all covered. i was over the moon. that move marked the start of a new chapter. the one where i started calling the shots.

that move changed everything because it took me out of an old environment and placed me in one that aligned with the version of me i was just beginning to become.

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over time, i learned to recognize that feeling and i started craving it.

sometimes it shows up in micro-moments—like when you find the perfect thing to eat on the menu or you try on a new pair of jeans that fit just right. and then there are the big, life-altering ones. like miami.

here are a few more:

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– getting my first dog. my parents never let me have one growing up—and they may have had a point. but years later, living independently with a stable job and rhythm to my life, i had a moment of clarity. if today was my last day, one of my biggest regrets would be never having a dog of my own. no more waiting. no more asking for permission. my best friend came with me, and that day, i brought home four-month-old ziggy the shih tzu. people warned me about the responsibility, the cost, the commitment. but i knew, and he has been attached to my hip ever since (8 years and counting).

– leaving my corporate job. the moment came quietly, but clearly. i wasn’t running away from burnout or toward a perfect plan. i just knew i was done pretending the title and salary were enough. i wanted something that felt more aligned. i didn’t know exactly what i was walking into, but for the first time, i trusted that not knowing was okay, because the knowing was already there. i gave myself permission to lean in to my passions. at the time, my devotion to yoga and meditation were taking root. i bravely took this practice into the corporate space, and wrote a thesis on meditation in the workplace for my masters degree in organizational psychology. this gave me the confidence to leave the company and start my own business with a mission to bring mindfulness and meditation to other spaces.

– moving to türkiye. my now-fiancé and i had only been dating a year when he invited me to spend the summer in his hometown on the aegean coast. there was no transition period, no culture shock. from the moment i arrived, i was in love—with the sea, the food, the people, the lifestyle. i didn’t just like it there. it felt like a dream. it still does. there’s not a single day that i take living here for granted.

– the proposal. it happened on one of our u.s. tours, deep in the woods of connecticut, on our beloved friend’s land. just the two of us in nature, surrounded by trees, in stillness. there was no performance, no audience. just authentic love. the magic wasn’t in the ring or the view, it was in how calm i felt. no nerves. no second-guessing. i had always wondered if i’d panic in that moment, but when it finally arrived, i just knew. i had known for a while.

– the farm. it had been in his family for decades—rows of olive and plum trees, resting quietly on a plot of land by the sea. the land always had a heartbeat, but it wasn’t receiving much attention. it was gently waiting for us to arrive, and something in us knew this was ours to activate. we didn’t force a vision. we let it unfold. now we’re growing, restoring, dreaming. creating a wellness and longevity space that we hope will serve not just us, but the community. it’s become our legacy project. something sacred we get to build together.

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so now, i tune in for that feeling.

even if it doesn’t make sense on paper.

even if it scares me.

especially if it excites me.

because once you know how it feels to know, it gets harder and harder to settle for anything less.

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☁️ The Conscious Nook

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